September is here, and so is the back-to-school season. As a parent, you may be excited to start the new school year, the extracurricular activities, and possibly a bit nervous about your child heading back into the classroom. I have two children, one child dreads the back-to-school season, and the other couldn’t be more excited. One child always had an easy time with change, while the other did not.
If you have a child who is worried or feeling uneasy about change or has developed new worries or rituals as the school year starts, here are helpful tips to make the transition back to school easier for both you and your child. The reality is that going back to school can be tough for kids (and adults!). Transitioning from the lazy days of summer to a new routine can bring up big emotions and lots of excitement. This can be even harder for kids who struggle with anxiety or OCD. But I’m here to tell you…you are not alone. With some planning, patience, and understanding, you can make this transition easier for your child and set them up for success.
Below are helpful tips to help you through the back-to-school season, inspired by my coaching with kids and experience with my own children:
DO: Talk to your child about the school year early on.
Talking and building anticipation go hand-in-hand. Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, so open communication with your child about the school year can help. This means discussing what to expect reasonably in advance, including walking through their classroom, meeting their teacher, making a list of school supplies, and addressing any concerns they may have. Validate their feelings and problem-solve together about ways to manage the stressors. Give your child an early “preview” of the new school.
DON’T: Expect perfection from you or your child.
Back-to-school time can have both good and not-so-great days. That’s ok. This can be a frustrating time, so give yourself grace, too. Parenting a child with anxiety or OCD can be a lot of trial and error. Celebrate small wins and efforts, such as trying on a new backpack, walking into their classroom, or sitting in their designated seat. These small steps deserve a round of applause!
DO: Implement familiar routines.
Familiar routines help children with anxiety feel secure and in control. You can keep as much of your morning routine similar to how it’s been over the summer as possible. This includes tasks such as creating a morning checklist, waking up at the same time each day, and packing backpacks or lunches the night before. Use a visual schedule or write out the morning routine so there is no guesswork and they know what to expect. Include simple but intentional rituals like a family hug goodbye or a positive affirmation you say to your child before school so they feel reassured and connected before walking into their school day.
DON’T: Dismiss your child’s emotional cues or worries.
Kids with anxiety or OCD can sometimes view ordinary things as tremendous obstacles. Pay attention and validate your child when they share with you their worries or fears. Say something like “that sounds really hard…I’m here for you” or “that’s ok to be nervous about today.” Showing empathy to your child and acknowledging their feelings is a decisive step in building trust with your child.
DO: Collaborate with teachers and school staff.
Keep communication open with your child’s teachers and school staff early on. Share helpful details like morning routines, common fears, specific triggers, or rituals they engage in. This allows the school staff to be proactive and can help prevent difficult moments at school. Be clear on what your child needs and what you’d like help with. Oftentimes, a quick note or a meeting early in the year can help the school staff know your child and how to support them best.
DON’T: Put your child into activities or situations that cause extreme anxiety.
I know we want to encourage our kids, and there will be things your child will need to face in their day that can be very anxiety-provoking. But pushing them into high-stress activities or situations can sometimes intensify those fears. It’s okay to not force them into experiences that may cause significant distress or panic. Instead, focus on gradual exposures and celebrate even the smallest steps forward as meaningful progress.
DO: Plan in time for connection and calming activities.
The first days back to school can sometimes be emotionally draining for kids who are experiencing anxiety or OCD. It’s always a good idea to plan in time for decompressing when your child returns home from school. Allow your child to play, read a favorite book, draw, or relax outside after school. This intentional time to reconnect with your child will nurture their sense of safety and help them work through their emotions.
DON’T: Forget to be patient with yourself.
Supporting a child with anxiety or OCD during back-to-school time can be a wild roller coaster ride. There will be great days, and there will be some tough days. Remember to care for yourself, take a break when you need to, and ask for help when you need it. Reach out to your friends, your own coach, or your community to help support your mental and emotional health. Remember that your self-care is crucial for you to be your best self for your child.
DO: Celebrate small steps as much as big wins.
Did your child face a fear or make a successful transition? Celebrate it! Every small step deserves to be acknowledged and recognized. By acknowledging your child’s fears and celebrating their efforts, you will help build their confidence. Remember, progress is a marathon, not a sprint.
DO: Believe in your child’s ability to grow.
Back-to-school time isn’t just about learning in the classroom; it’s about building resilience, independence, and self-trust. You have the ability to help your child recognize their courage and strength as they face challenges. As parents, our patience, love, and understanding go a long way in supporting them during this season. Remind your child that while change and new experiences can be hard, they’re also an opportunity for growth and that you’ll be with them every step of the way
Good luck, you’ve got this mama or papa! Here’s to a fun, loving, and healthy back-to-school season!
